Young Love
by nightkitty555
Summary: This story follows Sarra Salmalin, daughter of Daine and Numair, and the young man in her life. You don't really have to be familiar with the books to read this story.
1. A Question and Page Jasson

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that Tamora Pierce created or her world of Tortall. I never plan to make any money off of this, and just hope that a few people read and enjoy.**

Chapter 1- A Question and Page Jasson

"Sir… Lady… may I have a word with you?" These words seemed strange coming out of his mouth, yet he had practiced exactly what words to say. He wanted to speak with the same courtly grace his father always did. Though they were very kind, the great mages always made him a bit nervous, and he was especially nervous today.

"Of course, young man," said the lady. She was very beautiful, with curly brown hair a bit lighter than her daughter's. At the moment she was sporting a questioning but still kind look. The man beside her was very tall and several years the woman's senior. He did not make eye contact often, and he radiated magic, sometimes almost hurting the senses of the boy, who had just a bit of the Gift himself.

"I am going to the castle very soon, and before I leave I would like to state my intensions towards your daughter." The boy thought this was very well said. It was just like it had come out of a book. Actually he borrowed the line from a book he found among his older sister's things. This statement caught the man's attention right away, and it earned a strange look, of panic or dread or some other emotion mixture. The man settled on a stern stare, perhaps to discourage the boy from continuing. He was determined though. "I would like to ask for her hand," he continued, spouting another line from the book his sister had been reading. This seemed too much for the man.

"In marriage? She is eight years old! Young man, I am not one of those nobles who sells off his daughter like cattle!" The boy had never seen the man flustered before, and it was terrifying.

The boy seized his moment as the older man took a breath. He almost squeaked, "I don't mean now, and only if Sarra still wants to then."

The man, Numair Salmalin the most respected and revered mage in all of Tortall, regained control of himself, perhaps realizing that he was only addressing a child. The woman who was grasping the man's hand spoke up, "That would be lovely dear, but let's not discuss this again for quite some time, alright?"

"Yes, Lady," he said, looking a bit dejected. He couldn't help himself from adding, "It's not just me. Sarra wants to marry me too. We were talking-"

The boy stopped talking because of the stern look on the normally cheerful woman's face. "Now young man, you cannot hold a child to a promise like that, no more than we would hold you to yours here. Understood?" Jasson tried not to think about stories the children in town told about the lady and how animals would do whatever she wanted. He knew the lady was very nice and would never hurt anyone who didn't really deserve it.

"Yes, Lady, of course." He looked a bit downtrodden, though he was trying not to show it.

"And," the man spoke, "You must promise not to harm our daughter in any way."

The boy's eyes widened, "Oh yes sir, I will swear by the crown, and the gods, and anything else you want."

A small smile appeared on the woman's lips, "Just a promise will do quite nicely. Now run along and enjoy your page training. I'm sure we'll be seeing you soon. We still make it up to the castle quite often." The boy turned to go figuring that he had just been dismissed, before the woman's words caught him, "Why do you want to marry our daughter?"

The boy answered honestly without giving it a thought, "Because she is the most fun person to play with in the world." Then he screwed up his face thinking for a bit before he continued, "And she's very nice and good to talk to. I'm never bored with her. And she's pretty," he said the last comment while looking at his feet.

"That's very nice of you to say," she said as he looked up and saw her smile. By the lady's tone, he decided that she was done with him this time, so he turned to leave, bowing slightly to each of the mages as he left. He didn't try to stay to eavesdrop, because he knew he couldn't stay without one of the mages knowing.

He could still hear the next words even without trying, "He is what, ten? Maybe even eleven? He is _much_ too old for our daughter, and I don't this at all, Daine!" the male voice said. This brought on a great deal of loud female laughter. Jasson remembered hearing how the mage had been twice his future wife's age when they first met, and that he had even been her teacher. The boy left feeling relieved and hopeful for his page training that was soon to come. As Jasson walked away from the great lord and lady, he thought about the first really serious talk that he and Sarra ever had. It was over a year ago now. Some of the village boys had been making fun of him for spending so much time with a girl…

 _They were playing at a stream that they often came to, between the lands held by their families. "I could change into a boy, and then they wouldn't tease you," the girl offered._

 _"No, you can't do that," the boy said a bit quickly._

 _The girl was already excited about this idea though, "Yes I can, Grandmother only said I had to stay the same form until I was five, and I'm way passed that now. I turn into animals all the time! I think turning into a boy is harder maybe; I don't really know how to. But I did it as a baby, so I can do it again."_

 _"Please don't," the boy said softly as he tried to resume playing in the stream._

 _"Okay, then you could change into a girl."_

 _At this, the boy laughed, "Not everyone is as special as you. I can't do that, just like I can't talk to animals."_

 _"Then why can't I become a boy too? Maybe I'd grow as tall as Papa. And then maybe I wouldn't' have to play with the maid's girl. She's afraid of all my friends." Sarra didn't like anyone who wouldn't let an assortment of wild creatures be around at all times._

 _The boy shook his head no, "I'm a boy and you're a girl, and that's the way it needs to be," he said, with a tone that hoped the matter was settled. He looked down at his feet that were soaking in the slowly moving water._

 _"Why?" Sarra complained._

 _"Because," the boy said very seriously, "I'm going to grow and marry you." After a pause he added, "If you let me."_

 _"Can we play every day if we get married?" the girl asked suspiciously._

 _"We can do anything we want when we aren't working, and that can't be much harder than school," the boy explained, a bit excited._

 _"That's good. Most grown-ups only do boring things. We don't have to be like that?" the young girl questioned._

 _"Of course not. Most grown-ups are just silly," the boy said._

 _After a bit of though the girl happily said, "Okay then, I'll marry you. When can we get married?"_

 _"We can't for a long time, until we're older. I think we have to have jobs first," the boy clarified._

 _"Well, we can still play together every day until I go visit the castle again, right?"_

 _"Yes, the boy answered happily._

 _"I guess I don't want to be a boy anyway. Mama said if I was good she would buy me another spinny gown!"_

 _"Is that magic?" the boy asked, not understanding what could possibly be special about a gown._

 _"No, silly! It means when I spin the gown spins too and goes almost straight out. Mama says I mustn't do that around company though, because it isn't ladylike, the girl finished in a tone that showed that she had been reminded of this many times before._

 _"If that's what you like," the boy shrugged._

 _"A silly_ boy _like you wouldn't understand. I'm glad I'm not going to turn into one of you," the girl teased lightly._

 _"You'll pay for that," the boy said, splashing through the stream towards her._

 _"You'll have to catch me first!" the girl squealed. She turned into a large fish and took off down the stream, leaving behind a sighing boy and a pile of clothes that he quickly retrieved and put with some of his own before they were lost in the water again. Jasson knew he probably couldn't catch her until she let him anyway._

 _Jasson always knew which animal she was though, even when she tried to hide. It was a game they always played. She usually stayed in sight of him, and before he got too tired she would slow down to let him get close. Once or twice he had caught her fairly, but usually she would just let him win eventually, for he would never give up._

 _That day, when he finally caught her, he threw her on land, forcing her to change shape out of the fish,mostly because he had more fun on land than in rocky waist deep water. The wrestled and ran around for hours, resting whenever they were tired. Sarra would change her shape whenever she was losing or when Jasson was having too much trouble. She would be a dog, then a wild cat, and maybe back into a little girl when she was winning. Sometimes she would be a pony or even a monkey if she really wanted to get away. That day, he remembered she became a fish again and swam back to their clothes, where they sat laughing and talking for hours until they were dry enough that their parents wouldn't mind them coming home. Every trip through the woods was fun, every day a new adventure. That day was one of the very best though. After that day, when most children would say "When I grow up…" these two more often said, "When we get married…"_

The boy was brought back to the present by the very girl he was thinking about. He smiled and they ran off to play, though he couldn't stay as long as either of them liked, because he had to ride home before dark. The two lived about an hour's easy ride on horseback apart, but it did not take much longer on foot, because they could maneuver through the close trees that horses and ponies didn't like, rather than staying on the road. There were many relatively new baronies in this part of Tortall, where the kings would give land to people who had won his favor. Lady Alanna the Lioness and her husband lived nearby as well, closer to Sara. Jasson's father had done something for the old king, just as Sarra's father did, though Jasson did not know exactly what. Being so close suited them perfectly though. Usually they met somewhere in the middle, but he had come the whole way today to talk to the great mages, a conversation that still gave him shivers.

*****Page Jasson- First Year*****

The young boy left for the capital for page training a few weeks later. He still saw Sarra often, at least once a month, which he always enjoyed, but they didn't get to spend much time alone like they would have at home. Sometimes her father even taught his magic class, about using the Gift and about other types of magic as well. In one memorable lesson he brought Sarah and her mother and a few smaller animals to the class to demonstrate wild magic, showing them talking to animals and even turning into them, amazing or scaring the youngest group of pages except for Jasson. He wished he could have spent more time with his friend though. He did make many new friends who didn't tease him for spending time with a girl. In fact, there was a girl page just a year older than Jasson, and most people seemed to like her. Her father and grandfather were great healers in the realm, and her mother was a Yamani woman who was close friends with the princess.

Rare weekends that Jasson was allowed to go into the city were the best part of living in the castle. There were so many interesting things to look at, and the pages always needed breaks from work. Sometimes Sarra was there and could go with him too. She was, he knew, the most interesting person he had ever met, and she would always act in ways that surprised him. She was as good as any of his other friends to play and joke with, and better to talk to, and that was without even counting the excitement of all her animal friends.

The work seemed to fly by, with Jasson never having enough time to do everything. Midwinter was fast approaching. Jasson had already bought little gifts for his family and his friends among the pages, but he was at a loss as to what to get for Sarra until he saw a display of Yamani fans. They were pretty decorations but also dangerous weapons, which reminded him of Sarra, though he had grown shy enough that he didn't plan on telling her that. He found one with cats on it that he thought she would like; he learned that cats were very highly regarded by the Yamani people, but he thought any animal design would be perfect for Sarra. The pretty weapon was barely within his budget, and he could not have afforded it without the extra pocket money his family had given him this summer. They were proud of him for working towards being the first knight in their family. When his grandfather had been given a title, Jasson's father was a bit old to start page training, and it probably would not have suited him well anyway. Sarra was so happy with her gift that it made up for any amount of money spent.

"Thank you," she said, giving him a tight hug and a brief kiss on the cheek just by the side of his mouth, blushing slightly with nervous energy that they usually didn't have emerging.

"Here you go," she said smiling, handing him a carefully wrapped package that was only oddly crinkled on one end. He took out a plain but pretty dagger with a leather sheath with a horse engraved on it. "I wanted to sneak you in a kitten, but mama wouldn't let me, so we picked this out." After a pause she questioned, "Do you like it?" sounding a bit disappointed but hopeful in an odd combination.

"It's perfect!" he smiled.

The rest of the training year went by as fast as the first half, with each day seeming immeasurably long but with the weeks disappearing in a few blinks. Jasson was looking forward to summer and having some actual free time, and more time to spend with Sarra.

Summer was great, exactly like all the summers before, except that Jasson was stronger and faster than before. He still could not beat Rosy at archery though. Everyone said she had that gift from her grandfather, but Jasson always thought it was from all the hours spent practicing with her mother from the age that she was strong enough to pull a small bow. They spent hours at the stream and in the woods. Jasson even spent some time showing her some of the fighting he had learned at the castle, and he was impressed that she had learned to use her midwinter present from him from a Yamani lady at the castle.

As fall approached, Jasson was excited to see his page friends again, but not really excited about anything else. It felt like an end of an age with Sarra, and he couldn't put it into any better words. He told himself that he was being silly, because this summer had been just like all the ones before- why would that ever change? He couldn't shake the feeling though.

The next year flew by as quickly as his first page training year, except he did not see Sarra as much because she was receiving formal training in wild magic with her parents to learn how to heal animals. Jasson eagerly anticipated the summer just as he had before; he could hardly wait to spend more time with his best friend again. Also, physical classes were becoming much harder, especially with the weighted harnesses second year pages and older wore, supposedly to prepare them for armor. It also didn't help that morning classes were so boring. He had been told that there had been an old knight teaching history that had made it almost as exciting as being there. The man was the adoptive father of the Lioness, who Jasson had seen a few times. However, the old knight had retired a year before Jasson arrived. Jasson didn't see how anyone could make history interesting, but anyone would have been better than the old Mithran priests who taught almost every class.

This summer started just as any other summer, overly warm and filled with fun, until the first day the two decided to go swimming. As the two were stripping down to their loincloths like always, Jasson was given quite a shock. On the girl's small frame was, undeniably a breastband. This one happened to be embroidered with animals as well. The boy's eyes grew wide as he stared in shock before he came to his senses and turned around. He could not get the image out of his mind though. The girl was slimmer than he remembered and there were definitely new, still small bulges under the breastband. "W-when did you get that?" the boy stammered.

"The breastband?" the girl spoke with no hint of embarrassment, "Just a few weeks ago, I guess. Mama said that since I had started my monthlies a few months ago that is was time I started wearing one," she continued on seemingly not noticing the ever growing silent discomfort of her friend. "It's so itchy though that I only wear it when someone makes me if they help me get dressed. Mother says I'll get used to it though, and this one is rather pretty," the girl finished happily enough.

All of this was just too much for the poor boy to hear about his young friend. Some things were not supposed to change so soon. "But you're only ten!"

"It's not _that_ strange," Sarra said a bit defensively, "And Mama thinks it might be because of the wild magic somehow. Maybe because animals develop quicker. She started early too," the girl explained, still not treating this as any matter or importance.

"You-You're a woman now. You should get dressed," he said, turning to look at the girl but only at her face. "Maybe I should too," he sighed. It was a hot day outside and a great day for a swim in the stream or the small lake. The boy went for his clothes, trying not to look at Sarra again.

"No!" the girl said defiantly. "I don't want any of this. Maybe I should look into becoming a boy after all…"

"No… please," the boy said quietly, meeting her eyes again with a silent beg with emotion that neither children would really admit to or understand. Jasson was still only a boy himself.

The girl smiled, perhaps in victory or from an idea, "How about like this?" she asked before turning into a water creature that Jasson was not familiar with. Jasson considered anxiously but thought it was good enough, though he tried not to think about the strangeness as he grabbed her loincloth to throw it on the side of the stream as was his custom, though this time he had to grab the decorative, small breastband as well. Forgetting those things quickly, they played for hours just as they always had except for that Jasson would not look at her in her human form until she redressed herself, which Sarra still found silly.

They only swam that summer when Sarra absolutely insisted upon it. The only other time, still early in the summer, that Jasson asked to swim, Sarra told him that she shouldn't because she was bleeding. Jasson didn't understand at first, and when Sarra explained further, he thought his face would never stop being red, and their lake was mentioned as little as he could manage. Instead, they more often rode horses or practiced archery. Jasson also taught her a few of the things he learned in page training: punches, kicks, and tricks that he had learned from the new knife master that sometimes came to taught the pages.

Jasson could not deny that his younger friend was growing up, and he wondered when other boys would begin to notice as well. The word "marriage" was not mentioned at all that summer, but Jasson still wondered what her thoughts were. His young friend was changing so quickly, and he knew that he was as well.

*****Another year*****

The next year at the castle went by without much of note, and the summer that followed was very similar to the last, with the growing awkwardness of adolescence. It was to be the last summer that Jasson was to be a page. It was actually the shortest summer he had had, because the older pages were called to help with some bandit trouble after their customary training camp. Servants whispered that everyone was getting soft at the castle to need the help of boys for such a little matter. Jasson would never agree to such an accusation, but Tortall had, perhaps, become accustomed to its peace. The kingdom had not dealt with anything more serious than bandits and border patrol for all of Jasson's life.

Sarra always had the best stories of war, particularly the wars that her parents fought in, but others as well. Jasson was never sure how she knew so much, because her mage parents never seemed to talk about anything as serious as war, at least when they were around. Jasson didn't even mind his shorter summer with all of the excitement of possible combat, even though none of the pages would any real action. They provided relief and supplies to a small town, and participated in patrol shifts, but that was the extent of their involvement. He still spent as much time as he could with Sarra, though it seemed harder to find things to do and say now that she really was turning into a woman. Swimming together had been outright forbidden after a servant walking to the stream saw them there. The sight of the two young people in their undergarments was enough to have Jasson running home under threat of being told on to Sarra's father, the great mage.

Instead, the pair turned again to spending more time practicing with weapons or having somewhat awkward conversations. He knew now that Sarra had learned how to use her Yamani fan from the half- Yamani page, now squire, Yulani of Queenscove, who had become her friend at the castle. Female pages were still very much an oddity, and perhaps that drew in Sarra to her. She had also learned some more hand to hand combat at the castle, probably from Yulani as well, though Jasson was still far stronger and more knowledgeable, so he had to be careful with his energetic but small friend. Sarra seemed even better at archery though since the last time they spent much time together. Sarra said that she thought about becoming a Queen's Rider when she was old enough, though Jasson could not picture his young friend using any sort of combat for anything other than protecting herself and her friends. Though her friendships extended to nearly every animal that she came into contact with, so that was quite a large group. At one point, she had talked about becoming a page, but she soon learned that she did not like the sound of page and squire training, particularly the Chamber of Ordeals. Jasson may have emphasized the rougher parts of the training to discourage her, but he could not see that future for his friend.

****Fourth Year Page ****

As Jasson left for Chorus for his final year of page training, he felt almost jaded from the experience, that each activity was just more of the same. The only excitement was being chosen by his new knight master to be a squire. However, that did mean that he would go off with his knight master instead of going home to spend the summer with Sarra, and he would dearly miss his friend. He wondered how different they both would be when they saw each other again.

 **A/N: This was the first fanfiction I ever wrote, in a notebook I think more than five years ago now. Then I delved into Harry Potter fanfiction and never finished editing or posting this, because the Harry Potter stories get so many more views and reviews, and I just got discouraged from this one. I want to finish it though, and I love the story, and I hope at least a few other people read and enjoy it as well. I originally posted this chapter as four different chapters, but I know now that those were way too short for my liking.**


	2. Squire Jasson

Chapter 2- Squire Jasson

Jasson, like most new squires, was chosen by an ordinary sort of knight, respected, but not the sort that songs were sung about. Sir William of Heathercove traveled alone with Jasson or sometimes with other knights, especially his friends. They helped villages and the like, good causes for good people, but not terribly exciting for a boy who grew up hearing about the Immortal War.

The fourteen-year-old Jasson felt a bit guilty for thinking it dull and almost _wishing_ that there was a was going on. All of the best stories and songs were about war times, which Tortall had not had for years now. He regretted most that he would not get to see Sarra in the next year. He hoped that he and his knightmaster would winter in the capital, as many lone knights do, but he could not be even assured of that. Jasson could at least hope that he would see some of his other friends, wandering with their own knightmasters as he went with his.

In many ways, being a squire was much better than being a page. He learned more about topics that interested him, and practiced with his weapons of choice, and his knightmaster did not insist on continuing as many studies as the Mithran priests of the castle held. History just couldn't seem interesting if Sarra wasn't telling it.

Jasson had some hours of truly free time most days, and he enjoyed it immensely until loneliness inevitably crept in. Even though it was peacetime, Jasson still saw and even fought in small skirmishes around border territory and with a few bandits, mostly from neighboring lands.

As the months wore on, the few battles he saw taught Jasson that war was not as glorious as he had once thought.

Different areas of Tortall hosted tournaments, which Sir William liked to frequent, and usually Jasson would get to see a few of his friends there. Jasson had become better at tilting and swordplay, but he did not feel yet up to entering any events himself. He did watch his knighmaster win a few matches and lose a few as well.

****Winter/Second Squire Year****

Jasson was relieved and excited by the news that he would return "home" to Chorus for winter with Sir William. He hoped that Sarra would be there. And his squire friends, of course.

Sarra was at the castle the entire time that Jasson was there, and Jasson couldn't help but wonder if she had arranged it that way to see him. Sarra looked older and prettier each time he saw her. Even with growing tension, it was easier to find things to talk about when they had had so many experiences apart to report to each other.

Sarra had been learning to heal animals and had even been traveling around with her mother, mostly in the forms of wolves or ponies, meeting animals all over Tortall and even beyond. They had flown into Tusaine and Tyra as _eagles_.

Jasson's stories seemed boring in comparison. The two youngsters went riding when the snow wasn't too deep.

When Sarra's smaller pony tired of trying to keep up with Jasson's horse, Sarra would slip down and run beside them, as a pony herself.

They explored the castle when it was too cold to venture outside. Jasson was actually sad to see the snow melt, because it meant that he would leave the castle once more. It seemed that all time that was so enjoyable passed far too quickly.

Jasson knew that he had no right to complain. He had his knightmaster, and his horse, and he really got to help people in different places that they went. He wished he had the gift to heal the sick, or could help sick animals like Sarra could, but he could still do things for the people of Tortal. Sometimes that was hunting down bandits, but more often it was helping to dig wells, or put up fences that had been knocked down. It wasn't all glory, but it was good. And having cool well water after a hard day of work was a wonderful pleasure.

Still, as the weather slowly turned cooler, Jasson eagerly awaited returning to the capital and the castle. But this year, that time didn't come.

Instead, they wintered at his knightmaster's family estate. The stay was pleasant, but it didn't feel like home.

Jasson knew himself well enough to admit that "home" had much more to do with the people than with the physical place. He- felt guilty that he first thought of his friends rather than his parents. He and Sarra had reached a great amicable fun in their last visit, and it was a place that Jasson had hoped to return to. They were not exactly children anymore, but they were still best friends, and he wanted that never to change.

Over the next year, Jasson grew in many ways. He stood nearly six feet in height (which he was much relieved to see, because when he was younger, Sarra had almost caught up to him. He grew stronger and started testing himself against knights in tournaments. His knightmaster preferred the traditional jousting, but Jasson favored sword fights and wrestling. Some of the more progressive places would even let commoners participate in some of the events. Local farmers were always the best wrestlers. Jasson also grew in knowledge of the realm that was his home, and in patience and determination.

*****Third Year Squire*****

Finally, the fall came again, and this time when Jasson and his knightmaster came to Chorus. Jason had recently turned sixteen years old, and he looked almost like a grown man.

When Jasson returned to his room in the castle, there was a young woman there waiting for him. _Sarra?_ He rushed towards Sarra laughing, picking her up and spinning her around. A bit embarrassed, Jasson remembered that his knightmaster had walked up with him. He turned back to introduce Sarra to the man he had been traveling with for more than two year, but his knightmaster had already vanished, leaving the two of them alone.

Jasson held Sarra by the shoulders, arm's length away, smiling and looking over his young friend. He was fourteen now, her birthday just a few days before his own. It was her clothing that surprised him. She wore a light purple dress that seemed to flatter her complexion and… figure. It was tightly fitting over her slim torso until the waist, where it was tied with a sash. There was a great of fabric in the skirt that fell to her ankles. What had really surprised him was the low, squarish neckline of the gown, and the… clear evidence that despite her small frame, she was definitely a woman now. A necklace with a gem of the same purple color hung from her neck.

Jasson, sure that he was blushing by this point said, "Not much room for a weapon."

Sarra smirked, "A woman can hide a lot under her skirts- so long as I don't spin around too fast." Jasson has missed her mischievous smile. Without hesitation, Sarra backed away and turned in quick circles. The bottom half of the dress flew outward, revealing a dagger in a sheath along with a small purse strapped to her thigh. Her _thigh_. He could see as high as her thighs. But Sarra never had been shy about things like that.

"I just came back from the market," she explained, "And I wouldn't go there unarmed." To Jasson's embarrassment, Sarra then produced a second blade from somewhere… down the front of her dress. "And my fan was in my sash. Satisfied?"

Jasson was spared any sort of response by the arrival of two other squires from his year. The four of them went off and got reacquainted with each other. Sarra had always like the other squires that were Jasson's year mates. But maybe it was just his imagination, but he thought she didn't seem quite that happy to see them. Maybe that was just him projecting his own thoughts. And he thought the other boys were staring at Sarra far too much for his liking.

With all of the people in the castle, moments alone were rare, but Jasson made a habit of walking past Sarra's door often, hoping to see her.

Squires were kept awake late during Midwinter feasting, serving at parties after pages had been sent to bed.

On the first night of feasting, Jasson managed to leave the later parties early, perhaps in time to catch Sarra before she slept. As always, Jasson took a very roundabout way to his rooms, so he could pass by Sarra's located next to her parents' room. Every time he passed, he hoped that the great mages wouldn't notice him. But he was glad that she had been given her own room. He had earned it, helping palace animals as often as her mother did these days.

Jasson stopped as he was passing by her room, hearing crying from inside.

Jasson knocked softly on her door, "Are you okay, Sarra?"

"Yes," came a weak response from inside. After a moment, the door opened. Sarra stood there, eyes dry, but her face was red enough that Jasson knew she had been fiercely wiping it.

"I think you're removing your face paint the hard way," Jasson offered. There was some black residue around her eyes.

"I'm just being silly," Sarra said, stepping back into her room and allowing Jasson to follow her before closing the door behind them.

She was wearing perhaps the most beautiful dress he had ever seen, though he usually didn't notice that sort of thing. Perhaps she was just beautiful in it. It was bright red, and looked soft. Jasson carefully kept his hands at his sides. Her shoulders were bare, and the dress went low enough that... Jasson was a little nervous himself and didn't like the idea that everyone in the castle must have seen her. She had a red pendant around her neck that was very like the purple one she often wore.

"Your dress is… very beautiful. It- suits you."

"Thank you," the girl said, wiping her eyes and making them redder, "Thayet gave me several dresses for my birthday. She said they are too _youthful_ for her now, though I told her he's still the most beautiful woman in Tortall."

Jasson wanted to hug her but didn't really know how. Impulsively, he grabbed a small blanket from her bed and draped it around her shoulders, hold on, "What's wrong?" he asked.

Sarra turned into his chest, "It's silly," she answered. "I'm fine. I just can't stop… crying," she got out between little choked sobs."

"I won't think it's silly," Jasson promised to assure her.

"Yes you will," she paused, breathing heavily into his shoulder. She was tall for her age, the top of her head enough above his shoulder that is rested there nicely. "I wasn't let into the feast," she said. True enough, when he was serving at that night's feast, he had looked for her, but he couldn't spare much attention really, because it wasn't like he was a guest.

"I was sent to the children's party to sit next to Rikash. I- I wasn't here for Midwinter last year, and two years ago the children's party was fun but..." She said, hiding her face against his tunic. He would probably come away with some of her face paint smudges, he noted absently. Rikash was about a year and a half younger than Sarra, and he probably didn't even notice who was around him. He had some wild magic like Sarra, but he also had normal mage's magic like his father, and spent more of his time with that.

Jasson wrapped his arms tighter around his friend, "But you were hardly even a child two years ago…" he wasn't sure how anyone could see her in that dress and not think she belonged at the Midwinter feast.

"But I won't be presented at court ready to be married for more than a year, and that's what matters to some people. Even though I'm already older than my mother was when she met my father, and even though I know nothing happened for a while, it just seems… I just- wasn't expecting it. I came in a ball gown and was sent to a children's party! This was the dress that Theyett was presented to the _country_ for the first time wearing, and I just made a fool of myself in it. And the children were awful, all demanding things at once. Half of them hardly ate anything but dessert. I hope our children aren't so…"

She cut off what she was saying and shook her head hard against his chest, where it almost hurt. And then a moment later, she was pushing him away, but it was his turn to hold on tightly now.

"Sarralyn Salmalin," he said. She had a truly beautiful name. "We haven't really talked like that in a few years," he said, running fingers through her hair and down her back over the blanket he had wrapped her in. "But I haven't stopped thinking about it either."

She looked up, fresh tears in her eyes but looking so beautiful. Slowly, so she could push him away if she wanted to, Jasson leaned his head down those few inches to carefully bring his lips to hers. He was terrified that he was going to mess it up, but it was perfect. They'd shared a few curious little kisses in their childhood, but this was their first real one."

They stood like that for several minutes, neither feeling the need to talk or wanting to let go.

Finally Sarra laughed, "There was this boy trying to flirt with me. I don't think he was more than twelve, but he or Rikash was the second oldest there, other than the maids to help the littlest children. It was ridiculous."

Jasson just smiled, "I cannot say that I blame him. You are quite stunning. And I seem to remember that you were only twelve when _I_ was fourteen." Though he did still find himself wanting to find this boy who was four years younger than him and tell the child off anyway.

"That's different. Young women are far more… I suppose I can hardly claim to be mature now after the crying fit I just threw."

Jasson simply laughed and buried his nose into her cheek until she kissed him again. Their noses got a little in the way that time, but it was still perfect.

The two of them laughed and talked for a few more hours, with several more kisses mixed in. Or they just sat with arms around each other. They hadn't really seen enough of each other in years.

And to his eternal embarrassment, that was how Sarra's mother found them after the late party was over. Jasson hurried out of the room as the lady simply stood in the doorway with one eyebrow raised but smiling. Jasson was just glad that it had not been Sarra's father who had walked in.

Still, they met like that every night after the feasting, minus the tears, and Jasson left before the later post-feast parties would be over. Sarra continued to go to the children's parties, and she even seemed to have fun at them. Some nights they walked around the castle, stealing moments in dark corners.

Jasson was sad when the feasting was over. Lessons started again with his knightmaster, and Sarra was called away more often. The rest of the winter passed too quickly, and Jasson's knightmaster had been getting restless from the day the feasting stopped. They only stopped in Chorus at all that year because the man's youngest brother was passing through his ordeal of knighthood. Jasson did not like thinking that he might not see Sarra again until the winter he was to become a knight himself.

The morning he was to leave, he went to Sarra's room, feeling slightly guilty for waking her so early, but found her already dressed for the day and leaving her room, until she saw him, smiled, and pulled him back inside. They both held each other as tightly as they could stand, and Sarra was a tough girl.

"I'll be waiting," she told him.

"As will I," he answered before kissing her. He would miss that almost as much as hearing her voice.

"Leave a window open for me?" she asked slyly.

"I'll be outdoors most of the time, and your parents would hunt me down if you came to visit.

"I know," she said, lifting her head up for another kiss.

*****Disappearing Years*****

Both Jasson and Sarra were very busy, and time passed more quickly than they would have thought. This time, they kept in frequent correspondence. Sarra's animal friends could always find him, and they were glad to take messages. The ones that he recognized from his childhood had always seemed to like him. He just wished he could understand them. It was admittedly quite strange that he wondered what a hawk thought of his… romantic relationship.

Jasson was disappointed, but not surprised when he and his knightmaster did not return for winter at Chorus again. It would only be another year though, until they would have to return to Chorus for Jasson's own Ordeal, and after that, Jasson could chosoe where to go for himself. The prospect made even the Ordeal seem a little less frightening. Most squires went at least a few time, just to look at the Chamber, but not Jasson. He hadn't gone except to watch his Knightmaster's brother, and he might have not done that if he did not think it would be rude.

Spring passed into summer with Jasson trying not to wish too desperately for time to pass even more quickly.

Jasson was thinking about the Chamber again as he walked into the town inn that they were staying in. They had helped an especially grateful innkeeper with some troubles, and now he was lucky enough to have his own room- that he almost slammed the door to the moment he opened it.

There was a… naked woman with her back to him putting on one of his nightshirts. The woman spun around, one arm still searching for its sleeve.

Grinning, she tugged the shirt down from where it had bunched at her thighs to fall well past her knees. She wasn't embarrassed in the least, but she had always been like that. Maybe so much time around animals.

"Happy Birthday!" Sarra shrieked.

Recovering from the shock of seeing her, Jasson stepped forward and embraced her tightly, trying not to focus too intently on how wonderfully she felt to hold. She would be sixteen this summer. And so beautiful.

"So, how long do I have until your parents and half the forest find us and break down the door to get to you?" he asked.

"No one is going to be breaking anything. They know where I am." At his suspiciously raised eyebrows she added, "I came with two _guards_ , because I couldn't go unpursued without them. I only left them an hour's ride back when I found out exactly where you were. Honestly, I'm sure they expected me to leave hours ago," she said before leaning up to kiss him.

It was just as wonderful as he remembered. Giddy but comfortable.

"You left the window open," she commented.

"Always," and he kissed her again.

"You really are a grown man now. Almost a knight," she said.

"And you a grown woman," he said, ignoring the last part.

"Not as ancient as you," she teased, closing her eyes and sticking out her tongue.

Impulsively, Jasson brought his mouth to hers, making her physically jump in surprise. Eyes bright and happy.

"You used to not like being young," he teased back.

"No more children's parties for me. I'm being _presented_ this social season," she said with a high-born noble's air about her.

"Or you can just marry me and skip all of that," Jasson said, still holding her tightly.

"That has been the plan for half of my life at this point. Why change now?" she laughed.

"But it's still what you want?" he asked suddenly insecure.

"I'll find a priest right now if _you_ want," she replied.

"But I am but a _lowly_ squire, with my duty owed to my Knightmaster. It treats no one fairly to leave a married woman in her father's house," he spoke mockingly humbly.

Sarra elbowed him sharply in the stomach for his jet. Jasson kept her close despite it and kissed the top of her head, which he could only comfortably reach because she was slightly bent.

Sarra slipped past and shut the door that Jasson had left open in shock. He was mortified that it had been open so long, but the place did seem rather discrete, and Sarra was never bothered.

They sat on Jasson's bed, chatting and simply holding each other until a man and a woman with a bag of Sarra's thing knocked on the door to lead her to her room. If they cared about Sarra's current attire they hid it well and did not comment. So they must have known her well.

Sarra returned minute later dressed in a casual but well fitted white dress and the purple pendant that she favored. Shoes were apparently deemed not important enough to bother with, but it had always been so with Sarra.

"I've seen other women with necklaces like that," Jasson commented. "It is very pretty."

"It's designed after the Lioness's necklace given to her by the Goddess herself. Jewelers have taken to making ones like it. I have a red one as well. Most of them have charms put in them. All sorts of charms- defensive, healing, magic or poison detecting … or preventing pregnancy," the girl said slyly.

Jasson must have jumped up from the bed they had been reclining on as if it were a nest of spidren on fire. Words… he couldn't think of anything. Why was he terrified when he definitely… wanted… didn't he?

Sarra decided to spare him, "Mine is a gift from my parents and has a tracking charm so that they can always find me. My mother has the matching one."

"You were tricking me into saying something foolish just then."

"Not foolish. Just perhaps… not yet timely. But there is a very similar red pendant in my bags that you may see one day, but I didn't wear it right now. Now sit back down," she instructed as if they were talking of nothing more important than the weather.

But she was so easy to relax with, so easy to talk to. The two talked until they fell asleep, still propped against his wall. Her parents had paid for her room in the inn that they would really not want to know that she had had no need for.

Jasson woke after a lovely dream that he couldn't quite remember thinking how wonderful it was to wake up with a warm body in his arms. A _what?_ Jasson was much less sure of the situation after waking fully.

But Sarralyn Salmalin was nothing in the world if she wasn't persistent. And persuasive.

During the next two days, he and his Knightmaster helped with various tasks around the village, mostly repairs from the recent fire, and Sarra treated a variety of animals, mostly work horses and cattle. But both nights she came to his room in a night gown, and he did not turn her away.

He told himself that he wasn't disappointed that she wore no pendant.

"I'll see you soon," Sarra promised, leaning down to kiss him one last time from her pony's back. The old mare might have minded such an action from a different rider, but never from Sarra.

The mare felt that she had raised Sarra as much as anyone else, and she rather liked the two-legged young stallion who was nice to her and cared so much for Sarra.

 **A/N: So, honestly, I wrote this in a notebook years ago and never typed it up, but it was what got me started writing fanfiction, so I thought I should go back to it. Please leave reviews to inspire me to stick to it, and maybe write more Tamora Pierce fanfiction too.**


	3. Knight Jasson

Chapter 3- Knight Jasson

As the gods would have it, the two did not get to spend any real time together until the evening before Jasson had to prepare to go into the Chamber. It was the second night of Midwinter feasting, and Jasson would go to sit vigil the night after the third.

They were both glad to see each other again, but neither could find much to say. Kisses became longer. Holding was tighter. There was no squire or loved one who wasn't worried by the Chamber of Ordeal. Deaths were rare, and usually those squires had streaks of plain badness in them. Still, there were worries. Sometimes the Chamber took a finger or two, though never enough to stop a knight from serving the Crown unless it planned death on that squire.

Sarra had both heard tales of young men going in healthy and coming out with grey hairs looking years older. Some acted differently afterwards- a few went crazy, but those weren't the ones to become knights. Most were just on edge for a while afterwards. Sometimes it seemed that the prospect of the Ordeal kept more young nobles from trying for knighthood than money troubles, bad health, or other reasons combined. Many young men who would join the King's Own and see plenty of fighting, were afraid to go into that small stone room.

Sarra had heard some noblewomen scaring their children, particularly their daughters with stories of the Ordeal to keep them away from knighthood. She was wondering now if anyone had done the same to her without her realizing.

Once every great while, the Chamber gave a new knight a mission. Many squires prayed for this, because it was a sign that a young knight was meant for greatness, but really, it was no less terrifying than anything else the Chamber could do. Many families would rather get back a young man with eight fingers than one with an impossible mission. The last knight rumored to have received such a task was Kelandry of Mindelan, the second lady knight in Tortall in over a hundred years.

The third lady knight of the modern era was a lovely half-Yamini girl named Shinkoquin from Queenscove. She was perhaps not as legendary as the last two lady knights, but she was just as stubborn, and those they hadn't spent much time together, Sarra liked her very much. She was rarely the best at any part of knight training, but never the worst. She _was_ the best of her age at field healing magic, not surprising as her father and grandfather were great healers.

Quin, as Shinkoquin was called, sat beside Sarra waiting for Jasson to exit the Chamber. Sarra's mother was on her other side, and her father next to her mother. It was nice of them to come. Jasson's parents and his sister sat further up.

Sarra was trying nervously not to bite her nails, a habit she had broken years ago. She wanted to look her best for the celebration afterwards.

When Jasson did finally emerge, he looked battered and confused, but largely unharmed. His eyes searched for Sarra, and she felt warm and weak-kneed when their eyes met. How stereotypically true. He gave her a small, tired smile and walked out of the room led by his former knight master. She knew he wouldn't be able to talk about what happened in there with any specifics- there was some unwritten rule about that that every knight followed, but she did wonder if… she was brought up at all.

Jasson was knighted that evening. Afterwards, in silent agreement, both Sarra and Jasson drifted out of the hall, clasping hands before they were even out of sight. They walked back to Jasson's room on the squires' hall, a room that he would be granted the use of until spring.

"It gets cold in my room at night," he said as they walked in and Sarra locked the door behind them. It was the first words either had spoken in some time. Mostly they just held each other very closely."

"I plan on signing up for border patrol," he said when the guilt over needing to say it became too much. He wished he could just follow her around doing whatever he could, but he needed some sort of… something. At least for a while.

But she just nodded, "I'll ask my friends to keep an eye out for you."

"I just need something to do, a path. That's what most of the young knights do." The normal ones like him. His eyes were begging her to understand, but she was taking it very calmly. "Are you… worried for me?" he asked.

"Of course. But no more than always. Are you worried about me?"

"Ha," he laughed jokingly as he stroked her neck and back. "I'm more worried for whatever poor fool tries to harm you. I wouldn't like his prospects for the future. He'd either get torn to bits by you and your animals, or your mother and father would come up with something worse. No one has forgotten that he turned a man into a tree."

"I'm sure they would chase after anyone who hurt after the father of their unborn grandchild as well," she said, eyes dancing in the faint moonlight coming through the window coverings.

It wasn't possible, he knew, but his heart still beat twice as fast, and words seemed impossible, "If there were such a child, _I_ would be the one in danger of growing extra limb and leaves, I'm certain. But… it would be worth it. Sometime."

"I love you," she whispered into his ear.

"I love you too," he said, squeezing her back.

They spent most of the following nights in that fashion.

"Your um- parents haven't noticed that you aren't spending the night there?" Jasson asked. By unspoken agreement they preferred his room in the squires' hall to hers that was adjacent to her parents'. But she did often sleep with her animal friends in the stables, so it was entirely possible that her parents wouldn't notice anything. When Jasson could convince her, she arrived in bird or bat form through his open window, so he hoped the other squires and knights wouldn't notice either. He wouldn't needlessly tarnish her reputation. And the view that he got when she was slipping into one of his night shirts…

"Oh they did," Sarra said easily, as if it weren't important enough to mention until he asked but she didn't care.

"Wha- what did they say?"

"Oh, some insinuations that I was being foolish, not behaving like a proper young lady."

"And… should I be choosing a nice area for a grave… or to put down _roots_?"

"I told them that I was still a virgin- for the moment, not forever- and that they certainly did _not_ have the moral high ground here, because when my mother was my age, they were more than intimate already, and my father was old- like _thirty years old_ and her _teacher_. And despite all that, they worked out great."

"And… that conversation _isn't_ going to go poorly for me?"

"Not if they want to stay on good terms with their daughter, no." She was the boldest citizen of Tortall, he was certain. He would have to try to have half of that determination.

"Leave a window open for me?" she asked when the first day of warm weather came and Jasson was to depart for the border.

"I be in a barrack with a dozen or more other knights and squires," Jasson objected.

"And you think they would object to a window open on a fine spring or summer night?" Sarra questioned, eyes shining.

"They might if it was so a naked woman could come in," Jasson laughed.

"Somehow I doubt that would be an objection," Sarra countered teasingly.

"It had better be, or I'd have to teach them something." Not that Sarra wasn't more than capable of looking after herself. And maybe he would try to get a bed near a window.

*****Sarra*****

When Jasson was gone, Sarra still wasn't ready to go back to sleeping in her room quite yet. She was hoping to be called away, but her mother had left before Jasson did, and the king liked to keep one of them in Chorus.

And so, that night, Sarra found herself comfortable in the stables with three blankets and her friends among the People, as her mother had taught her to call animals long ago, settling around her.

"Sorry I haven't been out here much," she told them. They all understood in their own way.

"We know that whenever your mate is here, you must spend time with him," a sly young castle hound said.

"It's not like that. We haven't even-" but that wouldn't really make sense to her friends. From their perspective, she was many seasons past grown.

"Yes, when _will_ you have your first litter?" an old stable cat asked. Sarra regretted that those of the People who knew her best understood blushing.

*****Knight Jasson*****

After leaving Chorus, Jasson spent days on the road towards his assigned piece of the border between Tortall and Tyra with only his horse, Thunder. It wasn't the most noble name, maybe, or feminine but he had named the horse when he was nine and the mare was still only a yearling.

He had been to this border before, in his first year of being a squire. The area was usually quiet, because the countries were at peace, but the swampy terrain sometimes held undesirable threats, bandits not welcome in either country. And there were always some raiders who thought it was more noble to go steal from another country rather than staying in their own. Sometimes they had to stop Tortallan-born threats to peace and safety as well at Tyran. It helped political relations and was the right thing to do.

The days crept by without much excitement to fill them, wondering what Sarra was doing without him. Jasson knew that it was wrong to wish for a battle, because people would be injured and lives could be lost. But this watching and waiting and seeing nothing but trees as muddy grass for days was maddening. It hadn't been so bad before when there was so much else for him to learn from his knight master- but the other young knights rarely even wanted to joust or spar, wrestle, _anything_ to pass the time as a distraction.

It made him wish for simpler times with no responsibility- when exploring woods everyday would have just been an adventure. Like the day he met Sarra and all of their early days together.

 _Jasson's party outfit was the most uncomfortable thing he had ever worn. It had been too large at his last birthday and was too small now. Too small was much worse. And this wasn't even his party. It was the party of a five-year-old, far too young to be noticed by Jasson at the civilized age of seven. Barely seven, but still. Jasson's own five-year-old sister sat at his right, and Lata was probably why they had both been invited. His parents had said that she had wonderful, interesting parents, and she was sure to be a lovely girl, which meant he had to be extra nice to her and pretend to be interested, even though she was just a little girl._

 _They also said that he wasn't supposed to stare or be rude if she behaved oddly, and that actually sounded interesting._

 _When he met her, the girl-Sarra- seemed pretty normal. He watched her as they waited for their dinner to arrive. He was big for her age, a lot bigger than Lata even though Lata was a little older, and she would not sit still. She kicked her legs or played with the ribbons in her hair. She looked even more uncomfortable than Jasson felt. But then, girl clothes did look a lot more uncomfortable than boy clothes, even his, so she probably had an excuse._

 _He and about a dozen other children were told to play outside, noble and non-noble children, Jasson knew._

 _The birthday girl, however, seemed to forget about her guest and walked over to a squirrel. You couldn't expect a little girl to be a good host, Jasson supposed. But the squirrel was weird- it didn't run away even when she walked right up to it. He watched closely as she began to talk to the squirrel. Of course, little children could do stuff like that and think the animal could actually understand. Of course, he did talk to his pony, but that was different._

 _Jasson was startled when a huge black dog bounded over right towards Sarra. It was probably going after the squirrel, but it might hurt the girl. A dog had bitten him when he was that age, and that one hadn't been nearly as big. What could he do? Jasson screamed._

 _But that didn't do anything except get all the other children to look at him. The girl was fine. She didn't need rescuing. In fact, it looked like the dog had come to see her, not go after the squirrel._

 _The little rodent hid behind Sarra, but it didn't run away. That was really strange._

 _But that was only the start. The girl thanked the dog for coming so quickly. As if she had called it, but she hadn't said anything. And then, Sarra put the squirrel on the dog's back! She pointed towards the trees and said something Jasson couldn't quite understand, but the dog seemed to, and it took off running, squirrel hanging on._

 _Most of the other children weren't paying attention. Maybe they were used to the strange child. But one other little girl in a plain dress who looked about Sarra's age had been watching too, and she looked disgusted._

 _It was probably that that made Jasson walk up to Sarra._

" _You're special with animals, aren't you?" he asked. "Dogs don't just do that."_

" _Dragon does. He's used to me. And he get all the food he wants anyway, so he'd never hurt a squirrel."_

" _So they do this a lot around you? Animals act like that?" She was definitely more interesting than his little sister._

" _Mother calls them the People. And I listen to them too," the girl stated. "Dragon wanted to help. The squirrel wanted to know where to get this certain root, and I couldn't go because Ma says I have to stay with my guests," she explained._

 _Sarra was happy with his interest, he could tell, because she introduced him to lots of other animals, though no more big dogs, to Jasson's relief, though he told himself that he was being silly._

 _After that day, Jasson was invited to play at Sarra's house- or whatever they called it- it had a giant tower- a lot. Jasson's sister was usually invited too, but mostly just for the courtesy. She just played with the cats. And then of course, each time his family had to return the invitation. These times were never boring though, and Sarra and Jasson soon became great friends, sneaking off to see each other whenever they could until it became a nearly every day thing. Their parents didn't seem to mind, so long as chores were done- because neither came from the sort of noble household where children didn't have chores-and too many meals weren't missed. Sarra said that her mother probably had all the forest looking after them anyway, so it wasn't like they were even alone._

Sarra would have made these border patrols fun too.

It was worse when the mild spring days turned into scorching summer ones.

And then there was the worst day of Jasson's young life.

In these peaceful times, they patrolled in pairs. Jasson usually went with Natan, his closest acquaintance of the young knights. Maybe they were even friends. Natan hated jousting, but he was the only one who would wrestle, and he was a decent swordsman.

That day, something felt off, and Jasson was wishing that Sarra was next to him to tell him that everything was fine, or to tell him what was wrong. When steady, calm Thunder started to fidget, he knew what it was. There were no birds chattering to each other, no leaves rustling. All of the animal sounds were missing. All of them. Animals didn't even do that for great human battles. But immortals were a different story.

Jasson fumbled in the light packs on Thunder's saddle for the horn they were to blow when immortals were present. He felt certain enough to blow it now. And maybe it wouldn't be too late. Or maybe it would scare whatever it was off. Or call it over…

"What are you doing!?" Natan shouted above the horn.

"Back to the camp," he shouted, kneeing his mare to go faster. "Come on!" Jasson shouted.

Out of the trees, out of the trees, Jasson mentally chanted to himself. The wooded area was necessary to patrol for bandits, but many species of immortals were disadvantaged on open ground. The closer they could get to camp, the more likely help could reach them. Especially if a group of them already had horses saddled… he hoped.

Jasson was perhaps fifty yards from the tree line when the spidren emerged, but Natan was lagging back. He hadn't reacted quickly to Jasson's warning. They were hideous, Jasson's least favorite of the immortals he had encountered before- and that was two spidren against twelve knights and squires. They were at least five feet long with their furry spider bodies. Their heads were human enough, but he had never seen a spidren face that wasn't ugly. But maybe it was just all of the hatred written in them, and the mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth. And they were fast.

And three didn't travel on their own, so these were probably scouts for more of them somewhere. But these were moving oddly, he could tell when they broke out of the tree line, far too close to Natan, but he would make it. His horse was good, and he just had to stay out of range of their webs.

A return call sounded in the distance. Reinforcements were coming for them, and with more people, they would be able to turn and fight.

Until he saw why they were moving strangely. _Men_ were riding on their backs.

Spidren and humans working together _that_ closely- had that ever happened before?

Some immortals planned attacks, worked in precise formations. Spidrens more often fought amongst themselves or were overcome by bloodlust because nothing tasted better to a spidren than terrified human. They would eat any meat though. Unlike other immortals who rarely gave birth, spidren had multiple young each year. However, the spidren population never grew out of control because mothers often ate all of their young.

Any alliance between spidren and humans meant trouble for Tortall, and it was probably more than just these three.

The humans were a danger to Natan that he might not have seen. Could they stop and fight now and hold off until the outer patrol arrived?

Jasson stopped having a choice when he heard Natan's pained scream.

Gripping his lance, he swung Thunder around. If the mare hadn't spent so much time with Sarra, he wondered if a normal horse would have even listened. But they had been through everything, and even though Jasson in full armor was big for her now, he wouldn't have traded her for any horse as long as Thunder thought she could manage. And she was as good as another warrior in combat, not fleeing even from the terrible spidren.

It was then that Jasson saw that one of the riders, who looked like no more than a child, wielded a bow, and an arrow had struck Natan, who was struggling to keep up the lance he hated.

But he would be fine when the healers came. If there was a healer with the advanced group.

They just had to hold on.

Their attackers were nothing but children- on nearly immortal monsters. But how much older were Jasson and Natan really? Three years perhaps? And those boys were hardened fighters. If Jasson had been a little more hesitant, the boy's first blow, a strike with a long sword to Jasson's neck, would have ended his battle quickly. Instead he met the boy's sword with his own, brought up his second, lighter blade and lopped the boy's sword hand off. There were no nice battles. He had learned that technique from a Bazhir during his time as a page. Knighthood was changing as the world around them did. But he never focused on moves to take out an enemy's horse, and he had never heard any guidance on attacking a mounted spidren. He lashed at the thing wildly, catching a limb.

It was worse when the spidren decided that a wounded rider wasn't worth carrying and threw the boy away, allowing the immortal full movement. And then the second spidren was upon them, on Thunder's right flank. He spun around to see splashed of blood and two thick crossbows impaled in the beast. He couldn't see that thing's rider if it still had one. But the reinforcements were there and they were still alive.

"I did not like playing donkey for the child anyway," the spidren said. He wouldn't sure how they could be understandable through those teeth. "But you are much more interesting.

Thunder chose this moment to act for herself. She bit into one of the beast's feet- or hands- or whatever they were, and brought it closer. That was good. The most dangerous part was its burning, rope-like webbing from its lower half. It was reaching around for weapons that it hadn't held while it carried a rider.

Jasson lopped violently. Three legs gone but there were so many, and the thing had gotten out an axe that it protected its neck with.

Just two legs that it wasn't standing on and he could go for the neck.

But the thing had other ideas. From somewhere it procured a second axe, and before Jasson could do anything, it had jammed it into Jasson's thigh where he only wore soft leather leg guards, the highest the thing could reach in its injured state.

His place on top of Thunder had seemed unstable before, but now he was barely conscious. He was afraid to look down to see if his leg was still… attached.

He thought he was dead until he saw the spidren's head slip from its shoulders, one of the older soldiers from the barracks behind it.

Thunder might have reared or fallen with him still on her, but he couldn't gather enough consciousness to care. If he woke up, it was going to hurt.

Jasson awoke in a white bed in a grey stone room with a healer next to him. The initial relief at finding he was still alive and still had two legs was dampened by learning that with the extent of the damage, he was unlikely to recover completely. Even with the best healers.

When he asked about Thunder, the news was far worse. The spidren had thrashed against her, trying to free itself, but she had not allowed it, holding on until the beast was killed, even if the damage from repeated bashing to her skull killed her just minutes afterwards. Her back flank had damage that Jasson hadn't even known about, from the second spidren. The healer seemed to think he would want to know how brave his mount was, but Jasson wished only for unconsciousness again, and said or did nothing until he got it.

It was sometime in the next hazy days that he learned that Natan did not survive the attack. His family, the Lord and Lady of the nearest estate, had offered Natan's warhorse, Shadow, to Jasson if he wanted, not wanting to see the horse that reminded them of their son. The healer told Jasson all of this like it was good news. Jasson accepted anyway.

Shadow was a good horse, gentle for a stallion, and though Jasson kept Thunder away from all of the stallions when they weren't working, they had gotten along well.

There was ongoing investigation into the alliance between humans and spidrens, whether the attack came from Tyran, or somewhere else. There were two other attacks that day, but no others with real losses. Other patrols had been larger or had more warning, the credit for this being given to Jasson, not that he wanted it.

Within a week, he was told that he could go home the next day, if he and a guard went slowly and he wore a special brace and padded saddle. His family had been informed that he was coming. He wondered if Sarra knew too, but he hadn't asked.

For the brief periods that he had been both awake and allowed to move- calling it walking was a generosity- visiting Shadow was the only thing that helped. They were both grieving the loss of an old friend and a new one. The first time he was carried there by men who said the horse wasn't eating and perhaps he could help. By the end of the week, he could hobble there with a walking stick and his brace.

Finally he was allowed home. He was to see healers regularly to help his body mend, paid for by the crown, but he could be treated well enough at home, and it was closer to Chorus if he needed more attention. He had a different brace for the long journey, one that covered from waist down and onto his left leg. He could take it off when not riding- with some difficulty. And he needed help to mount and dismount Shadow, which he did not enjoy. He would send the thing back with the guard when he got home. Home. From his brief and unpromising expedition as a knight. Permanently injured in his first real skirmish.

And the trip home was much slower than it should have been, and camping at night was such trouble that he almost wished he just keep on despite the discomfort of a long day.

The day before he was to arrive home, a bird with a message tied to its leg found him.

So Sarra knew he was coming back even though he hadn't been able to tell her- probably his sister's doing. The note read, "I will see you tomorrow, and I am only sorry that it is not sooner. Love you. Sarra."

Midmorning the next day, he was met by a falcon. Jasson knew who it was even before she turned into a smaller bird to land on his hand, and then into a cat, which was much easier to hold closely than a bird.

Jasson held the cat closely and kissed the top of her head between her ears.

He actually laughed at the bewildered look on his guard's face. The man was quiet and not much for conversation, which had suited Jasson's mood well enough. It had been a while since Jasson had laughed.

He kissed her little cat mouth and nose, because she was Sarra, however she looked.

"Shadow, this is Sarra, my… the woman I've wanted to marry since I was around eight years old, I believe- whatever you'd call that. You'll like her," he introduced. Sarra was licking his hand and his arm as he handled the reins with the other hand, not that Shadow seemed to need much direction on the easy road. "Sarra, this is Shadow. He belonged to a new friend who could have been a good one."

When Jasson arrived home, his family was waiting from him. He didn't like needing a guard's help to get off of his horse, to look so infirm around his family.

His father said he was proud of Jasson. His mother cried a lot and said she was glad he was home. His sister hugged him tightly too. But from his sister's raised eyebrows and grin in Shadow's direction, he was pretty sure Lata had noticed the cat who sat on his new horse and knew that the cat was more than it looked. It made Jasson realize that his little sister had grown up without him around.

When Jasson's mother finally tore herself away to check on the noon meal, and took Lata with her, Jasson led Shadow (and Sarra still seated on Shadow) over to the stable.

It hurt to lead Shadow to the stall that Thunder used when they were home, but he thought it would hurt longer to leave it empty.

Before he could even start to tend to Shadow, Lata ran back in, grasping a dress, throwing it over the cat on Shadow's saddle.

"Shall I tell mother to expect another for dinner, or will you two be too busy?" she challenged.

She was definitely grown up. Jasson might have still been gaping when Sarra's arms wrapped around him from behind.

"Thank you, Lata," she said. "I wouldn't keep Jasson from his family, but I would love to join you."

"I'll just give you some time alone then. Perhaps entertain the nice young man who came with you," Lata said before dashing out that door. _What?_ The guard who came with him had to be at least twenty-two, and he barely knew the man's name- Arlend, he thought.

Jasson turned back to see Sarra tending to Shadow. She must have figured it out.

"Thunder-" he started to say. He felt his eyes moisten already.

"I know," she said. "That is the worst feeling."

"I should have gotten a new mount before going," he said, voicing the worst thoughts that haunted him. "She wasn't up to carrying a knight in full armor."

"No, none of that," Sarra told him soothingly. "She did as well as any horse could. Better, probably, because she loved you so much. It would have destroyed her for you to leave her behind."

Jasson nodded, wiping tears away and willing them not to return. He had done too much crying.

"I can't do anything for myself, barely even get out of bed, and I can't stand seeing another bed pot in my life. I feel like an infant. Or a… a fresh gelding," he said, looking anywhere but Sarra.

"There are hundreds of herds full of very happy geldings that I have met, but you are not one," Sarra informed him.

She touched Shadow, and Jasson knew she was talking with the horse before Shadow walked around them, nudged the stable door closed, and settled down in front of it. That was… more privacy than Jasson had been expecting. Sarra ran hands up and down his body, carefully around his injury. He tried not to think too much of her inspection until she kissed him. She knew exactly how to make him not feel like a gelding.

"Couldn't bring my pendant with me, sorry," she cooed in his ear. That got his attention. "But I have a lot of plans for you in the next months while you recover.

"Oh really?" he asked.

"Yes, the way I see it, you will need to spend most of your time in bed… with your _beautiful_ new wife. How does that sound?" she asked, seriously asking.

"Like the best time in the world and like everything I have ever wanted," he said and leaned down slightly for another kiss.

Since she had essentially asked him this time, did he still have to ask her parents for her hand again? It seemed cruel to make a man face that pair again.

 **A/N: Finally done! I still cannot believe how long it took me to get this typed up. Without telling myself that I could count the words for Nanowrimo, since I had been putting it off for so long, I'm not sure if it would have ever been done. Please do review if you liked it though! It means the world to me to hear that I wasn't just wasting my time.**

 **I always thought that Sarra would be a good character for Tamora Pierce to write about, but apparently in the future she plans to do at least one book from Rikash's perspective (fascinating because such a large majority of her stories are from the female perspective, especially in Tortall- (I haven't read many of the Circle of Magic books), so maybe we will get to know Sarra from Rikash's perspective. I await it excitedly, as well as the series she has planned around Numair!**


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